Therapy
HEARKEN THERAPY PROCESS AND SPECIALITIES EXPLAINED
In Ancient Greece, conversation was seen as a vital aspect of well-being. People would gather, talk for hours, and listen attentively to each other. But it wasn’t just about how you were with words; it was about how you listened. This is what really made for a fulfilling conversation. It required curiosity and caring, patience and attention from the listener.
In today's world, our concept of conversation has shifted. We often associate it with speaking up, trying to make ourselves heard. We tend to perceive skilled speakers, charismatic leaders, and public figures as the epitome of good conversation.
However, there's a radical idea that I am truly passionate about—when we don't understand what someone is saying, it becomes our responsibility to listen better.
Often, if we say something that others find unclear, we are asked to clarify ourselves. It's as if the fault lies in our ability to articulate our thoughts. Yet, what is missed in this dynamic is a fundamental truth that shapes my approach to therapy: when we feel unheard, it's because those listening aren't making enough effort to truly understand us.
Let's consider a scenario where you feel anxious around others. In heightened states, overwhelming emotions can hinder our ability to express ourselves clearly, impacting our language. It becomes challenging to think straight, let alone speak coherently. Now, imagine a friend, a partner, a family member, or a coworker noticing your distress and asking what's wrong. It can be nearly impossible to find the words that accurately describe your experience. Eventually, you manage to say, "I'm feeling anxious." And you might hear in response, "I know how you feel."
Chances are, they are reflecting on their own understanding of anxiety rather than truly grasping your unique experience. The conversation shifts away from you, becoming about others.
Therapy offers you an opportunity for a different kind of conversation.
— A conversation that is about listening to you.
A good therapist will provide unwavering attention, creating a supportive, safe, and confidential environment where you can freely express yourself. In therapy, you may start to feel and think in ways you may never have before. You may gain new perspectives on things that seemed significant, or develop curiosity about previously overlooked aspects of your life. Therapy is an ever-evolving, fluid space where you can fully explore and discover yourself. It's a place where you set the pace and devote time solely to your own growth, unlike anywhere else in life.
Many individuals believe they are broken and in need of fixing. Modern culture often reinforces this belief.
With the abundance of information on the internet, it's easy to find labels that quickly summarise our struggles. However, these labels cannot fully capture who we are. We are too unique and multifaceted for simplistic descriptions.
After spending years in my own therapy and training to become a psychotherapist, I have come to realise that the "solution" to our problems, if there even is one, is far more empowering than simply being "fixed" or labelled with instructions on how to handle it. It is up to us to initiate change within ourselves, to oversee our own growth, and to reclaim our narratives.
Therapy is not a quick fix or an easy ride. It provides us with a safe and supportive space, in which we can start to develop our own language, to find the words that authentically describe our experiences. In the therapy room, we can reimagine ourselves in ways that are often elusive in the outside world.
Therapy is a form of freedom—an empowering and radical one. It's a rare space where we’re encouraged to explore every thought, feeling, and sensation without judgment, and to follow them to their fullest extent.
